My birthday at the end of April marked a milestone that hit me harder than any other decade marker so far. For some reason turning 60 sounded momentous and frightening.
When I turned 10 I was about to become a big sister to a third sibling and once we found out that the three Fleming Girls had a baby brother to play with, age ten was pretty wonderful.
When I turned 20 I was growing and learning and playing at Grinnell College in the midst of that crazy wonderful four years that I look back on with a fond smile. Seems so long ago. Coincidentally Jeff is at Grinnell this weekend, drumming away in a reunion rock band. He said it wasn't the same without me and it's true: for us Grinnell College will always mean "falling in love" in addition to the place where we got a great education and made some life-long friends.
When I turned 30 I was a brand-new mom and was in love with 6-month-old Sarah. I was immersed in the world of breastfeeding and diapering and rocking my babe, so grateful to Jeff for the chance to stay home full time to mother our darling daughter.
When I turned 40 I was mothering three children with Anna newly arrived from Korea and Sarah now 10 and Dave now 7 years old. I didn't have any time for self-reflection and was living a magical life.
When I turned 50 I was still immersed in mothering but also starting to let go, to celebrate the flight out of the nest of Sarah and preparing for Dave's departure. I still had Anna at home and a flock of day care kids, so life was busy and very full.
Now that I have reached this decade and started in on my 61st year of life, my thoughts turn to the final decades of my life, if I am lucky to live to a ripe old age. I have recently lost a dear old friend, Helen, nearly 89, whose passing came more suddenly than any of us could believe. She was in our women's book club for 20 years and had been a sort of surrogate mom here in town for those of us whose own moms have either died or live far away. I want to life life to the fullest as Helen did and as my own parents are doing.
How can I make this decade meaningful? Where can I put my energy that will make a difference?
